A day in the life......

Patchwork In the last 11 years, I have moved house numerous times. 5 to be precise! I did love the whole thought of moving house, but now I am fed up with it. I helped my sister move 3 times and my mother move once, so in total that is 9 times (only in my eyes). My favourite place to live was the one and the only house in the last 11 years for me, it was a beautiful house on a busy street, but it was just down the road for my son's school (very handy). We had a cellar and a gorgeous long garden, all full of mature shrubs. (as well as the normal 3 bedrooms, kitchen etc). The one lovely thing I treated myself to and brought with me when I moved was a patchwork stained glass window for the front door.  Now my door was a mid to dark green and had small viewing panel in it, this was just plain and fairly quite boring so I replaced it with this beauty...  This was custom made and came all the way from America.

Today I came across this visual analogy on Facebook.  It explains how Depression is like hoarding, our head is our home.  See, and it's so true.  Some people have a neat organised mind/house, some people, like me, are more eclectic in our storage.  Multiple events happening can often topple my organised chaos over.  I have debt, that I bury my head in the sand about (I know I need to sort it) but that hole in the sand is comforting... Recently I have asked for HELP.  My facade has fallen and the cracks now show to the outside!  The pills I take no longer work on their own. I knew this time would come.  I'm still struggling, but not so much on my own.  Though sometimes I need just me space, people find that difficult to understand.  They worry (which is fair) I have thought bad thoughts (self harm, worthlessness and self-hate). I'm pragmatic enough to not do anything. 

I want to share with you all, my brave, but VERY scary deed I did...  What? You ask... well I jumped off a bridge...  Why? You may well ask.. for charity!  I HATE HEIGHTS... yes so why did I do it? Because it's good to step off the edge of your comfort zone, now and again... I was nervous but exhilarated, until I got to the top of that wall...  Then OMG... seriously I couldn't do it, I was all strapped up, attached to all the safety equipment... But no, I couldn't bring myself to (as they said) "just lean forward and drop over the edge"  What did I do, you ask, well I told them I couldn't do it, they unhooked me and trembling I climbed back down and cried, shook and trembled.  The people I was with checked I was ok, I told them to carry on...  Eventually I gathered my guts back off the ground, tucked them back into my pants. (With the help of some very lovely people) plucked my courage up and climbed back up...  I climbed up, folded my a

What is happening to this world? This is not a political post, so don't worry... I'm sad, to see what is happening in the world at the moment. We are all human. Two arms, two legs with skin and hair, bones, organs and feelings. So why does it matter the colour of each others skin, what religion we are, what political party we support... My mother always told me whilst growing up, "Always treat people the way you wish to be treated" & "Be kind to the people you meet on the way up, because you never know who'll you'll meet on the way back down" Yes we are all different. Yes there is freedom of choice. Yes we do not have to agree with everything that everyone else believes. But why oh why do some people have to be (a word that isn't quite the right one) HORRID...

Hi guys back again and so quickly. Doesn't time go fast, I have lived here in my new life now for coming up to 4 years. My children are growing up I have a teenager who is learning all about life and a little man who is learning (I hope) to be a good man. Today was the day I loosened the apron strings a wee bit. My little man had his first day where he walked (well rode his bike) too and from school on his own..... Scared you asked yes I was, but what is the life of a parent, but to teach there children how to grow up into an independent and good (if that is the right word) adult/human being. Of course SAFELY too. I'm sure there will be times when I still go with him as I cling onto his childhood and the playground friends I have made. But primarily he is growing up. I am lucky in the fact that our school is very very close and there is only 1 road (which is not a main road) for him to cross. So just a short one tonight guys. Good night to you all x

This morning was an interesting morning, it reminded me that my children are... well children! The school rush this morning was decidedly funny. My eldest was getting ready (and is in year 10 now) shouted down the stairs "Can you drive me to school mum, as I'm running late" I then replied "yes". Previously to this I had promised my 7 year old son that he could walk to school (he was very excited about this) then I'd remembered that I had to pop into his school to pick something up. We had had a slightly aerated conversation. Than come to the decision that I would just follow slowly behind and get what I needed then come home. Well once I'd agreed to drive my daughter to school he did a dance and threw his self on the floor in complete disgust saying that "he hated his sister" and "why couldn't she walk to school"! Many minutes later  we are all in the car and waiting at traffic approaching the roundabout "I've forgotte