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It is 6.18am I can't sleep well at the moment. Why? you ask... Well because in a little less a month I have to attend court! yes again. This time may if I'm lucky be one of the last, the run up to the end. Also I have an appointment to attend a clinical phycologist, today! But your not crazy... well lol some people may say I am ..... No it is so I can sort out my head, my feeling of guilt and uselessness, return my head to what is normal (is there a normal .. we shall see!)







But back to the matter of court. A whole day is allotted for this as this is the day I have to stand up for myself in court, prove that my husband was a bully, control freak, abuser and quite a few other words I won't say on here as they are rude.... apart from COWARD!



He has the right to ask his 'barrister' to cross examine me! To provide verbal proof of the mental abuse I have suffered for years, the physical and mental abuse my children have suffered for years... Now your thinking surely there is evidence? Yes Social services have there meeting records and doctors reports of everything they have from my older 2 boys. Who were removed from our care. Of every little mark, bruise and incident, all of which my husband claims he didn't deliberately do! or that the 'baby' did this his self... (yes very true a baby, aged 1 month to 6 months). Unfortunately (maybe the wrong word) there is no evidence bar my word for my younger 2 children, and there's is all mental (thankfully, now that is the right word).



So the proving has been left up to me for this section, however I may point out, that In his misunderstood mind, he is claiming in his statement 'I have never hit any of my children' Yes I can confirm he is deluded enough to think this is the truth, even with the evidence (which he is aware of and has recently seen, I add).





So you think what are you worrying about? He is a stupid man, who is in deniale and the majistrates will obviously see this... Well yes all that is true. But I'm scared, worried and stressed, hence the not sleeping properly. Mainly bad dreams... (not fun) very tearful about the most stupid of things. I still have to stand up in front of him and answer questions that I'm sure will be awful, cos if his barrister is anything like his solicitor (who is a pompous, self rightous, belittling git) then I know I'm in for a hard time.

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