Back in the Rat Race

Ok I know its been a long time, my life is good...... yeah you say!!
Today I had my 1st (proper) interview since June 09.... Proper you ask! Well what I mean is a proper company not just an agency, that then send you off after asking the ins and outs of a 'hens ....... ' lol. With a we'll see what we can find for you, but before you came in and registered on their books they had an amazing amount of job oppertunties that were just perfect for you.. (They are just damn annoying)
But hey, here I am, with 2 .... yes 2 proper interviews this week, 1st was for a Receptionists job PT (will be perfect if I get it!) 2nd Data input/processing FT which even if they offer me that I will accept... Why when what i need is a PT job.... Well because I need to work and I have all these qualifications going to waste, by doing the job I do. Which I love mind but money is the guiding factor and the fact of I never really wanted to work with kids then come home to more...
Sound bad? LOL Probably..... so I love my kids and want to give them the best I can, I know that is not all material. But also a happy mum is a good mum, they need to see that you have to strive for the things you want in life. That luxuries and other things that (their Father to be honest) Takes for granted as he sits on his ass on the dole and does Sweet FA .....
So my lesson to my children is you need to work, you need to expand your life, If you want to be the best you can and be a worthy part of this world ... then go out there and grab it, work for it, strive... Expand you life build your box bigger... With a positive outlook and attitude anything is possible...

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Holiday

My first ever abroad holiday. Yes I've gotten to the grand old age of 53 before I've planted my feet on foreign soil. My flight was to Portugal, and my partner of 3 years was coming too. Unfortunately he's had a crisis and called off. That's fine I'm going anyway... First flight omg brilliant, loved it. And here I am , but it's raining. Will I let it spoil my experience? No chance in h***! Food, drink and cats today. What will tomorrow lead to. Let's wait and see.

Home, a patchwork of things..

Patchwork In the last 11 years, I have moved house numerous times. 5 to be precise! I did love the whole thought of moving house, but now I am fed up with it. I helped my sister move 3 times and my mother move once, so in total that is 9 times (only in my eyes). My favourite place to live was the one and the only house in the last 11 years for me, it was a beautiful house on a busy street, but it was just down the road for my son's school (very handy). We had a cellar and a gorgeous long garden, all full of mature shrubs. (as well as the normal 3 bedrooms, kitchen etc). The one lovely thing I treated myself to and brought with me when I moved was a patchwork stained glass window for the front door. Now my door was a mid to dark green and had small viewing panel in it, this was just plain and fairly quite boring so I replaced it with this beauty... This was custom made and came all the way from America.

Mental Health a visual analogy

Today I came across this visual analogy on Facebook. It explains how Depression is like hoarding, our head is our home. See, and it's so true. Some people have a neat organised mind/house, some people, like me, are more eclectic in our storage. Multiple events happening can often topple my organised chaos over. I have debt, that I bury my head in the sand about (I know I need to sort it) but that hole in the sand is comforting... Recently I have asked for HELP. My facade has fallen and the cracks now show to the outside! The pills I take no longer work on their own. I knew this time would come. I'm still struggling, but not so much on my own. Though sometimes I need just me space, people find that difficult to understand. They worry (which is fair) I have thought bad thoughts (self harm, worthlessness and self-hate). I'm pragmatic enough to not do anything. ...

A day in the life......

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